Cut the bullshit with Swings!

The swing must have reached some sort of horrible Bieber-like point of market over-saturation by now.  I often wonder how many books and certifications can the world possibly be out there for a movement that I learned by myself, out of one book within a few tries with it.  When I got around to having my form checked out by a sort-of real expert on teaching swings, I found out that I was doing it right all along. I didn't need to pay three-figures to find that out. 

Yeah, the swing is useful.  pre-ACL failure, I did swings often.  I have no doubts it's a useful exercise  that was thrown in the dust-bin of lifting history prematurely.  It's a great posterior chain movement.  It's just overhyped, not well-understood, and often horribly performed.  There are lots of things about the swing that just annoy me about the subculture's relationship with the swing that just have to be cleaned up, dried off, and ironed out so hype can be separated from fact. 

First of all, the swing doesn't need to be done with kettlebells.  If you can put a heavy object between your legs, hold it with your hands, then you can swing it.  The first objects I ever swinged with were rocks.  I'm also fond of conventional, two hand of swings with sandbags over kettlebells.  When I kettlebell swing, I usually do it with two KB's.  In fact, the traditional object to swing wasn't even kettlebells.  Back around the turn of the century, 1900, the Olympics featured dumbbell swings.

Which brings us to another interesting point about swing movements.  If you are looking for proof that we've gotten weaker now than we were back then and things aren't what they used to be,then you could easily use swing exercises as proof.  Today, we think of swings as a conditioning exercise (which is just another way of saying that they kind of suck woodpecker eggs and are only good for people who are too weak to lift real weights).  Back 80-120 years ago, they were a max strength movement that ended up with the weight overhead.  John Grimek Routinely would do swings with a 200 lbs dumbbell. 

...or two-hundred pound ones!

In other words, if you're swinging for 5, 10 minutes on end with 500 reps to a set, in all likelihood you really are a weak excuse for what used to be called a man.  I'm not implying that swings always have to be done for low, max strength reps and they have to end with the weight overhead.  I usually do them for 20-30 reps, or 30-60 seconds if I have a timer, with whatever weight makes me want to die by the final moments of my set.  Like I said before, that usually means either a 90 lbs sandbag or two-55 lbs KB's. 

A very poorly known, but highly valuable exercise variation are lateral swings.  These are (were...FUCK!) second-favorite way to swing with a kettlebell.  A video is in the order to explain this one...

 

What the hell is with that beard?  Whatever... they're doing it right and it's hard to find a good video demonstrating this one.  What passes as a lateral swing on youtube is a complete joke!

 

Once again, use some serious weight!  If you can do them for what would be considered high reps by any other movement's standards, then use a heavier KB for crying out loud!  This is one swing that I prefer a KB for. 

AGAIN... do these with some serious weight!!  I know I've spend a half-decade on this site telling you that you don't always need big weights to get strong but even I have to admit that you just have to go heavier sometimes to get results.  This is the sometimes.  Swings aren't so damn special that they can fly in the face the fact that once you get well into high rep territory that you need to find a way to make the movement harder.   BW training suffers from this exact problematic line of thinking.   Bodyweight movement-form can be easily modified to become more difficult.   In the case of swings, you'll likely have to add weight.  So, quit pussy-footing around.  I don't have time to devote 10 minutes to one movement, even one set, over and over again.  I don't really have the inclination to either.  There's more to be gained from the swing lifts than what the market is selling with the current dogma. 

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Let's Make a New Rule: If you're going to curl, you'd better press too

There can be little doubt and disagreement that the bicep curl long ago denegreated into the vainest weight training movement in existence.  We've been subjected to a 40 year assault on our eyes where wave after wave of Arnold wannabes re-reading recycled Muscle and Fitness trash articles on how to make huge biceps using god knows how many flavors of curls.  Modern living has only made matters worse by deluging the internets with cell phone self pictures of every Jersey Shore wannabe flexing their biceps on Facebook wall photos. 

Something has to give here.

The answer to this madness, like so may other answers in matters of strength, is to simply look farther back than Arnold, back before gay men got the idea to masquerade as artistic photographers to the bodybuilding world in droves.  Stop when you get back to the 1920's to a guy named Hermann Goerner.  Goerner is one of rare strongmen who was roundly respected by nearly every major figure in the fledgling weight training world of his time.  Finding information (especially reliable information) about the strongmen and weightlifters of those days is tricky.   You almost always find one calling the other a phony.  That didn't seem to exist in regard to the big man with the Htiler Moustache.  Just about anyone who had contact with him considered him to be the strongest man that ever lived. 

He was one of the few strength luminaries not named Doug Heburn who can be excused for an upper-body strength training emphasis.  World War I took its toll on Goerner's body, leaving him with one eye and legs full of metal shards for the rest of his life.  By most accounts, his lift of choice was a combination of biceps curl and press work.  Ususally starting out with 55 lbs kettlebells and moving up incrementally until he got to the 110 lbs ones, he'd swing them overhead, lower them to the shoulder, press them overhead, lower them down, curl them and repeat (he varied between single and double kettlebell work but it almost always was the same basic action:  swing, press, curl).   I haven't implemented the swinging work into my training but I've come to appreciate the curl-press combination immensely. 

...Wait a second!  Swing a 110 lbs kettlebell OVERHEAD? 

In addition to being proof that kettlebell lifting isn't what it used to be, it's also a great way to get some serious upper body work.  If it worked for Goerner, it'll work for you!  This is the way that curling should be done:  with pressing work.  The weight training world is finally beginning to pull it's collective head out of its ass when it comes to neglecting pressing.   Back 110 years ago, if you weren't pressing, or at least putting weight overhead somehow, you just weren't strong.  

How did this press not hurt like a motherfucker?  Perhaps even Russian pot bellies are stronger than American ones!

 

This movement mixture can be upgraded further by combing another golden oldie with a recent pressing movement that the Russians actually got right.  If you dare say that you got bored with Hermann Goerner's pet lifting, I've got this to slap your stupid ass into eating those heretical words:  Combine Zottman Curls with Sots pressing. 

In other words, do a supinating curl of the weight(s), drop into a deep squat, then press the weight(s )overhead.  Then, stand up and do it all over again.  I use this one when I'm at home, working in my low-ceiling basement with dumbbbells.  Were I to standing press with those, I'd put the weights through the ceiling.  Out of anger, the thought has crossed my mind. 

How to implement these into a workout is totally up to you.  I enjoy pre-written programs about as much as I enjoy the Jersey Shore but I'll share a few ideas anyway.  I normally like to do these in a pyramid set, increasing the weight I press and curl as I decrease the reps.   Then, decrease the weight and increase the reps.  I've also used them as a finisher but if I find out that you're using tiny weights for high reps to tone, well...

Either way, this is a great, old school set of movements that should become more popular and taken more seriously than it is.  I recently found out somewhere that Bert Assirati was a fan of this curl-press movement as well.  Frankly, if two of the biggest, most powerful men to walk Europe in the 1920's were doing this, I think that's more than enough justification for you to do them as well. 

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Bitching about The Summer Heat?

So, it's mostly in the low 90's here in Florida where I've been sentenced to stay for the foreseeable future with 60-80% humidity on any given afternoon.  Inside the garage is even worse.  Since the air conditioning exhaust runs through there too, it makes the already hotter-than-outside garage even more unbearable.  There I am, on the floor of the garage, with my hands squeezed inside the handle of my kettlebell doing Lat Pullovers.  My knuckles grind into one another and my back is picking up all kinds of dirt and dead insects off the floor because I'm sweating so hard as I move the KB through my sets.  I'd prefer to move this whole outfit outside but with my ACL in my left leg barely repaired, I don't chance carrying the large chunk of metal outside.  So, I do this all in the garage, hoping those ants I'm killing aren't the kind that bite and that spider in the corner the size of a my palm stays put. 

This is the first time I've ever written about this.  No, it's not a complaint but a wake-up call.  From one hardened mind to another, I'm sure that you'd love nothing more than to reach through your computer screen and grab those people on the other side who is complaining about how hot the summer is and tell them to shut the hell up and get to working out. 

This is classic a sign of lack of intensity.  Remember what that was when you train?  If you don't you might  need to be spanked with a spiked baseball bat.  That's when you do stuff that takes you past what's physically (and mentally) comfortable in your training.  We should also know that we need to push things past comfortable and into painful when we train.  If you didn't get that, spank yourself again with the studded baseball bat. 

So, since you're already there taking yourself to Intense-town, what difference does it make if the landscape is hot, sticky, humid, dirty, smelly and generally as miserable as the burn in your biceps and upper back while you're there?  You're supposed to be in a zone where you are forcing yourself to disregard the stresses you're putting yourself under and continue working.  The miserable backdrop to this scene is just matches the pain of the action.  This is why I've always loved the gyms with concrete floors, working out in basements and garages, and martial arts schools that are rough around the edges.  Anything to the contrary is Planet Fitness.

Clean, climate-controlled comfort is for bedtime.  If you're bitching about the weather and mitigating training, then you're just doing it wrong. 

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Resurecting Push-up Cocktails

Prior to letting one of Florida's better orthopedic surgeons do his best on my knee, I had to change up how I worked out my body with a useless leg.  If you've never done anything to injure your leg in a manner that prohibits carrying around weight, you cannot comprehend how bad this sucks for training.  It's not just the fact that you can't (shouldn't...) do leg training.  It also severely inhibits exercise selection because you are also limited by the lack of ability to set up your exercises.  So, it brings any former BW-only trainer far closer to their roots. 

In other words, this wasn't a tremendous problem for me.  I knew I could find ways to train around this.  I just had to reactivate this part of my brain. 

I've discussed this in a past entry:  some people who work out too often with lots of stuff, just the way they like it, pigeon-holing themselves with their training.  If you want to make 72.35% of gym rats wet their pants, cry like babies, and go into bizzare siezures, just take away their bench and watch the ensuing hilarity. 

When it came to my chest workouts, I took another track.  Of all the body parts that will make you look ridiculous for falling in love with one movement to train it, it's got to be the chest.  The pecs can move in so many directions and at so many angles that it's just flat-out stupid or lazy to rely on one movement for training.  Consequently, training the chest with one movement is also incomplete.  You're better off with a few different movements. 

Remember the time crunch thing?  Regardless of whether or not I am in a hurry or not, I still like to do a lot of work in less time.  I don't like resting much when I train.  So, when I tore my ACL, I gravitated to combining differing chest movements in one set.  That way I could satisfy the whole, "different angles, different ways," thing. 

The first combo that I started doing was combining BW flyes with push-ups on my suspension rig.  Both of these were done slowly and going as deep as possible, especially the push-up at the bottom.   By the end of this set, I usually feel like my pectoral muscles are going to tear off my breast plate and run away to find some easier, functional training.  The less-obvious benefit to this set is the ab training.  By the end of the set, it's hard to hold my midsection in place.  Of course, I had to do this all on one foot.  That added to the fun. 

The second combo that I picked up after not doing for a long time was what I loosely called clock push-ups.  I start out by doing some wide, wider than shoulder-width, hand stance push-ups.  Then, I walk my hands to the right three paces the the right (or left, doesn't matter), keep my feet in place, and do another set of hands-shoulder width apart.  Repeat the hand-walking and finish up with hands together.  As the hands get closer together, the range increases, making the push-ups harder as you get further into the set.  This really slashes down on how many push-ups you can do. 

Before I did both of these, I usually threw in some dips on the suspension rig.  I did these for no other reason than I'm humiliated by how much I suck at them.  As an added bonus, it's yet another direction to hit the chest. 

I've read a fair amount of BW training resources.  Blending together two different movements into the same set doesn't come up very often.  That's a mistake we don't have to make.   There are no rule that say that we have to do the same movement in the same set.  So, feel free to change it up. 

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Iron Addiction III : What happens when you rough it?

One thing that I always get a chuckle out of is listening to guys far too used to being in a fully-equipped gym describing what they'd need if they were forced to train in an environment that wasn't fully equipped.  The list normally starts out simply.  They'd need a barbell.  and a squat cage.  and only 500 lbs (or less, sometimes) of weights.  and maybe some matting.  and some dumbbell handles.  And some chalk.  and make sure the bar is ___ brand.  and a sandbag to be functional.  and a TRX.  And maybe a three kettlebells, just like Pavel recommends. 


Any pic with KK is worth posting.  Awesome for sure but I typed in, "minimalist strength training", to find this.  This isn't...

What's also amusing is how many of these guys are actually pretty respected and have a decent following.  It just goes to show how little experience in the improv-department some people really have.  Welcome to an area where I might actually proclaim myself an actual novice when it comes to strength training.  Having my training environment altered on a regular basis, my equipment access mitigated, modified, and messed with regularly, is what I've dealt with over the years when I travel for work. 

If there is a rule number one to minimalist training, it has to be that you've got to happily embrace BW training.  If your access to a gym is spotty, at best, and your ability to lay your hands on stuff to train with changes, then you've got to have a decent plan on how to make your body your equipment.  There is simply no way around it.  Even as you get very advanced, you can still make a hard workout out of BW alone. 

Luxury!  The possibilities are endless!

Another reason for working with BW is that it does change your outlook about training in an efficient way.  The rest of the strength training universe looks at one movement.  Then, they take the movement and add more weight to it.  The end.    When the stuff (iron)  runs out to make progression, then training suffers.  BW doesn't stick to one movement and one way to do it.  the form changes, usually pretty dramatically as progression becomes necessary.  Why this doesn't happen with weights more often confuses my BW-conditioned brain.  When I see a weighted object, I look for movements to make the weight harder, not more weight to make the same move harder.  It's a mentality switch that guarantees you'll find a workout in compromised environments.

Over the past 10 years of training, I've come to realize that while the challenge to the upper body posed by BW training is nearly limitless, the lower body work isn't quite at open-ended.  So, if those options are exhausted, or some weight is wanted, then you've just got to learn to look around.   This world is full of heavy, awkward stuff you can lift and move.   One thing that I've come to love moving for training is the vehicle I'm driving when I travel.  If you're a training minimalist, you'd better learn to love the sight of random junk piles.  There's an 86% chance that a great workout is in there, waiting for you. 

SON-OFA-BITCH!!  Get my tetanus shot current and let's lift!

Then there's the gear that you can either buy or bring with you.  It's kind of weird how poverty, travel, and time crunch all have the similar solutions when you're trying to train minimally.  When you sense the urge to have some equipment that you planned specifically for your workout, then you should keep a few things in mind.  First, don't bring something that can't be used for many different things.  Subsequently, that's a good rule for buying things.  Finally, make damn sure it doesn't take up a lot of space either.  If there are two such training tools that I find positively indispensable, it's some sort of suspension rig and a sandbag.  These two don't take up a lot of room and don't weigh a whole lot either (empty sandbag and fill it when you get to where you're going.  Duh!).   There is a lot of work that can be done with these two implements.  I can't think of two better items to invest some money in when you've to got to work out while traveling. 

I have this.  It goes everywhere with me.  Get it here

This is just another sign of iron addiction.  When you limit yourself to such a narrow means of training that you can't come up with a workout unless you're standing in a fully-equipped gym, then you're doing it wrong.  There's always a good workout nearby, no matter were you happen to be standing and what your circumstances are.  You've just got to find it.  If you can't find it, then there's a problem.  It's in your head.  

Oh, and this blog entry is too good not to link to, and relevant to what I'm talking about here

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Don't Under-Do it...and a recap of my ACL reconstruction

As I started putting weights on my new neck harness and getting ready to start lifting, my mother strolled in.  Shocked by seeing a small pile of iron hanging from my neck, she asked for an explanation of what the hell I was doing.  Of course, I explained that this would help strengthen my neck.  Despite doing the kind of slow and under control reps anyone not a strength geek could spot as being careful, she admonished me, "Don't over-do it."  My mother is one of those people who doesn't exercise much and finds infinite, often annoying, reasons not to.  I returned the favor.  "Thank you.  Don't under-do it, Mom!"  I think that this is going to become my standard response to anyone worried about me over-doing my training. 

I'm getting ahead of myself. 

Yeah, I got my ACL reconstructed last Thursday.  That also happened to be the first surgery that I've ever gotten in my life.  I fell at work on April 22 and it's been a slugging match with my company's workman's compensation insurance  (never fun) and trying to get a time where someone can replace me at work while I recuperate.  Mobile centrifuge treatment plant operators don't exactly grow on trees in the United States.  By the way, if you knew how to do this but didn't submit a resume when I mentioned that I needed ACL surgery, then you suck and you should stop reading my blog out of shame and common decency. 

Dude, where's my ACL?

I opted for an allograph at my doctor's recommendation.  That's a fancy way of saying I bummed a piece of ligament tissue from a dead body that wasn't using it anymore.  Every knee surgeon apparently has their own opinion about what reconstruction option is best (autographs:  harvesting a chunk of your own hamstring or patella tendon) and my surgeon explained that while patella grafts are generally considered to be stronger, they have a longer recovery time and since I wasn't a professional athlete, I'd likely never test the strength of the reconstruction.  Besides, he did something kind of cool that I'll get to in a minute.

So, After two months of crutching, barely walking and impatient waiting, I got surgery.  Fortunately, I was the second surgery of the day so I didn't have to endure thirst and hunger for an entire morning and afternoon.  Pain management was an issue.  They didn't give me enough drugs out of post-op to make me feel painless.  Apparently, I succeeded in life by having a high tolerance to drugs without actually doing drugs. 

They asked me to write, "yes" and "no" on which knee to operate on.  I can do better than that..

At my first doctor visit, he explained that instead of pulling out my disappointment of an old ACL, he put the dead guy's piece in, grafted the two together, and put them back in their place.  So, my ACL is double the thickness.  I thought it was a cool trick.  It certainly ausages the disappointment of not being able to see a piece of my ligament pulled out of my body.  I thought it would have been neat to see.

ACL back in place.  Better!

Now, comes the fun part:  Physical Therapy.  I lamented to my Physical Therapist that I spent the first four months of this year pushing around a GMC 3500 pick-up around at 5:00 am for leg training.  Naturally, I was so pleased to hear that it would be five months and three weeks before I could get back to that.  Now, I have to get focused on getting my knee straight and my heel to my ass.  This is clearly a humbling experience. 

 

I actually shaved my own leg before surgery, just to make it clear which one they needed to work on.  The nurse said I did a better job than her drag queen son does on his.  I guess that's a compliment. 

Now, if you thought that I'd no nothing else other than PT then you confused me for a chronic overtraining-worry wussy.  Now, since I never had surgery, I never understood the sensation that simple crutch movement could make for a painful, shit-my-incision-are-going-to-explode open feelings in my legs.  I do have an machine that circulates cold water through a pad that I wrap around my knee.  I thank the heavens my surgeon demanded that my insurance company buy it for me before they operated.  Basically, if I have that, pain is manageable.  So, what can I do with this thing on my leg that doesn't send me rushing for pain medicine and my machine? 

Yeah, the neck training thing.  One day I do 30 minutes of neck training.  The next day I work on my crush grip with my CoC's.  These are two things that I can do that in no way make my surgically-repaired knee ache or carry even a remote chance of aggravating it.  Plus, I don't think I stand a chance of slowing down my recovery by training too hard. 

Plus, the neck and the hands recover pretty quick, as long as it's not over-done.

. 

SHIT!  NOW I SAID IT! 

So, I'll keep y'all posted on my progress and any wild revelations that I have while I recover.  Thank you for the get well wishes.  Hopefully, I can get back to normal as fast as possible. 

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Iron Addiction II: Who To Listen To?

If there has been a somewhat-reoccurring theme to this blog is that strength training has relied way too much on the pounds of weight moved for quite some time as the number one measure of value.  The thought process of moving as much weight as possible influences many things from our judgment of our own strength to the movements we choose to do to make us strong.  Another, lesser thought-of issue that comes up now and then with iron addiction is who we choose to listen to for advice with training. 

I like Paul Carter's feed on my Facebook wall as well as his blog.  He writes so much I'm often left wondering how on earth he ever gets any work done.  Anyway, he had this to say after being one of the speakers at a recent Juggernaut Training Seminar in Chicago:

I'd like to address something here, because I was asked a question that was intended to mock me, but in all reality it made me feel pretty fucking awesome.

The trolls question was "how did it feel to be the weakest speaker at that Juggernaut seminar?"

Well, that's a great question.

I've been training for almost 25 years. Unlike Eric Lilliebridge I was not born a genetic mutant. It took
me a few years of training before I could bench 135.

After a few years of lifting I remember squatting 155 for a set of 10, and it was so hard I felt like my liver was going to explode. I didn't do those again for a few more years. They were hard! Who wanted to do that shit?

 

My best total, no belt no wraps is only 1686. Hardly the stuff of legends.

 

After the seminar I walked up to Ed Coan, the greatest powerlifter that's ever lived, and shook his hand and told him what an honor it was to sit next to him. Ed shook his head and told me, "Paul, you're as smart about all of this stuff as anyone up there."

 

That's the greatest compliment I've ever received in regards to training in my life. What could top that?

 

All the years I spent fucking up and busting my shit up and trying to get better...all the years I spent reading and trying to understand things and fucking with programs....all the years I spent writing and putting my own shit out there....that's what got me there.

 

All of those things are as good as any total because I sit on top of 25 years of knowledge and experience. And while a world record anything would be nice, I was able to sit with record holders and speak alongside them as a peer.

 

So you see, I'd like to thank you for asking me that question because it was one I asked myself at the seminar. And my answer was "I'm here because of the other things I bring to the table." That thought was reaffirmed to me by the greatest ever at said sport.

 

Not only that, but after 25 years I know that I'm just entering my prime. If I can total 1686 with no belt, on a torn groin then my best meets are yet to come.

 

So many of us have aspirations of becoming something, or doing something, but sometimes aren't on the right road to get there. I would have never been in on that seminar, if I hadn't started writing and putting my ideas out there. It was those things that led me to that place. My lifting at this point, wouldn't have gotten me there.

 

The road to our zenith may not be the one we believe we are supposed to travel. People often find out that they have to take a completely different route, in order to end up in the place they desire to be.

 

So how did it feel to be asked to sit in with a group where I was the "weakest" guy there?

 

Pretty fucking awesome.

 

Because strength isn't just measured by pounds on the fucking bar.

 

Like I said, he talks a lot.  The mockery does bring up an interesting question:  Are we obligated to take seriously training information that only comes from people who can move prodigious amounts of weight?  How do we go about determining who we listen to for training advice? 

 

Taking advice from people who move massive amounts of metal often results in reeking of douche-baggery.  I've taken tips on how to do an exercise properly from people who couldn't move the same amount of weight that I can.  I took tips on how to row from someone who probably could barely row for reps what I could do for high volume.  Should I have disregarded what they had to say?  It was only my second or third time doing weighted rows and the person giving me instructions was a woman who has taught people how do this stuff for years. 

 

Subsequently, certain people are gifted.  Being blessed with lots of muscle mass and the right structure to pull off immense lifts doesn't do anything to teach you how to do what they do.  If you're less gifted, you need to learn technique.  This kind of big lifter may not be able to impart what comes naturally to them onto you.  

Then, there are egotistical fuckers who doesn't want you to be better than they are.   It's unfortunate but there are people out there that are only okay with your success up to a point where they feel threatened by you.  It must be easier than trying to constantly improve.  Lazy asses. 

 

Of course, some people aren't good at teaching others either.  While my solitary fitness existence doesn't allow me to teach a people about working out in peron, I do the bulk of the training at my job.  If there is a few things that I try to keep in mind, it's these things: 

 

1. Patience.  People who have a set idea of how long it's going to take to teach someone something aren't good for teaching.  It can be a tedious process to get people to learn what it is you're teaching them and impatience doesn't help the process along. 
2. Being a good talker.  I admit that I'm better at writing than talking face-to-face.  Still, I've taught what I do enough times that I'm pretty well rehearsed at what I need to say and how to explain things in a simple, efficient manner to complete amateurs.  This ultimately boils down to having plenty of experience teaching.   
3. Conveying a sense of accessibility.  What teacher hasn't taught, student hasn't learned.  If student doesn't feel comfortable asking, then teacher doesn't get the opportunity to teach.  In other words, a good teacher is nice...and  #1!
4. Not assuming.  I'm at my best as a trainer when I don't leave things to chance.  When I'm training someone at work, I never assume that they know things.  I always ask first. 

 

In the handful of times I've showed someone some things about working out, my hard-learned lessons from work have served me well. 

 

I didn't mention how much someone can lift in the above-mentioned pointers because I was talking about how I go about training people at work.  I didn't mention it because it doesn't have a whole lot of bearing on how good of a trainer someone ends up being.  What was fascinating to me about the taunt that Paul Carter spoke of was that he is on the cusp of pulling and squatting 700 lbs on both lifts.  So what if he was sitting amongst guys who already past those two marks repeatedly?  It's not like he's unqualified to teach people about lifting.  This sort of thinking is just another example of iron addiction that I've wrote about in the past.  Like any other addiction, it doesn't do any service to anyone.

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